If Then Else: The Computer Programmer’s Approach to Mediating Conflict
How our brain works cannot easily be mapped into a computer. Ironically, the workings of a computer can be applied to our daily thought and practice, and lead to re-wiring of our brains. One of my earlier careers was as computer programmer, coding IBM software applications. If there was one programming technique I used more [...]
Our Relationship: It’s not just about You and Me
Sometimes we forget that we are part of something bigger. This can happen anytime. When we are in conflict, we tend to focus on the person we are in conflict with. There is something more, though, that speaks to our relationship. Our relationship Our relationship is not only about you and me. It’s also about [...]
Be it resolved: We value our relationship over the agreement
Image courtesy of USEmbMalta on Flickr Congratulations. You resolved your differences. You settled your dispute and reached agreement on how to move forward. What happens though when something goes wrong down the road? What will pull you through, sustain you…. the strength of your relationship or the terms of agreement? Navigate from the Future Agreements [...]
U Connect: The Art of Making Connections to Resolve Disputes
I published my 2nd e-book this week, on Amazon. It’s titled: U Connect: The Art of Making Connections to Resolve Disputes. It’s a consolidation of some my observations, along with insights I’ve culled from others, around “making connections”. Here’s the Table of Contents and here’s the Introduction section: “Disputes happen. How do we respond? One [...]
The Mediation ‘Sweet Spot’
A mediation is like a good holiday. Here’s why… —————————————————————- A weekend vacation trip does not give enough time to find the holiday ‘sweet spot’. Bruce Kirkby wrote a great article in last weekend’s Globe & Mail about the holiday ‘sweet spot’. As a veteran outdoors trip guide, he knows all about the magic and [...]
10 Holiday Gift Book Ideas for the “Mediator” in Your Life
I enjoy reading books. They are a safe way to explore the ideas and works of others. And, a really good book is inspiring. It seems to connect on a personal and emotional level; a connection that can motivate one to further thought and action. Here are ten of the books I read in 2011, [...]
I “don’t know” and I’m going to run with that
I felt crappy even before the face-to-face mediation began, this week. Fighting some seasonal bug, I was hoping the mediation would be a short one, no matter the outcome, and I would soon be on my way home, to a hot apple cider and a bed. It was not a short one. Yet, what kept [...]
The Cloud and Mobile are the Mediator’s future office
I mediated a trans-national business dispute last week. The mediation took place over several days, and was conducted online, over the Internet. There was zero physical paper exchanged. I worked from my laptop, from my home office. Essentially, all the software I used was based in the “Cloud”, and either free or low-cost. I’m grateful. [...]
Silence: Pattern Interruptus
When conflict is all around, resolution seems distant, and the voices ring loud, sometimes the best way forward is to say nothing… silence. As a mediator, I’ve found silence can be an effective pattern interrupt technique, a way to break impasse, especially if the parties in a dispute aren’t listening well, are locked onto negativity, [...]
CIIAN: Helping Nations build their conflict resolution capacity
I had a great long-distance conversation with Evan Hoffman this week. Based in Ottawa, he is Executive Director of the Canadian International Institute of Applied Negotiation (CIIAN), a Canadian NGO, as well as being a Faculty member with the School of Peace and Conflict Management at Royal Roads University. Initially connecting with Evan through Twitter [...]
